Tracking santa.

I'm tracking santa for my nephews, like I do every year.
This should be fun.
(;

Off to the lights.

So,
yesterday went and seen the chipmunks. (and no I'm not referring to my cousins)
today it's the lights.

Oh jeez, this oughtta be fun.

Sincerely,
:)CfP(:

God I hate girls.

I really hate girls.
and I'm a girl
honestly.

Not that it matters.

But I honestly,
wouldn't trust my mind right now.

Hopelessly Devoted to you

Guess mine is not the first heart broken,
my eyes are not the first to cry
I'm not the first to know,
there's just no gettin' over you
Hello, I'm just a fool who's willing to sit around
and wait for you
But baby can't you see,
there's nothin' else for me to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's nowhere to hide,
since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head,
hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you,
hopelessly devoted to you
My head is saying "fool, forget him",
my heart is saying "don't let go"
Hold on to the end,
that's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's
nowhere to hide,
since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head,
hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you
,hopelessly devoted to you

I'm hurt.

I'm hurt.
I'm sore.
So tore.

My knee.
Might need
surgery.

My finger.
is in
the same boat.

My head,
What can
fix that?

My heart,
broken bruised
and scarred.

I dont know what to do.

Sorry Guys,

Okay, for real now.

I'm going to start posting every day..
Again.

But I'm going to try something different. Instead of boring you with the whole entire day, I'm just going to say whatever comes to mind. ahahaha.

sincerely,
Ciara<3

Thank God

I get out early today. That's all I can say for now.

Sincerely,
:)CfP(:

Going to Start this again

I'm gonna start posting on this again. I'm sorry that I haven't in so long.
I'm not good at keeping up with these.

You're the one.

You’re the one I love no matter what,
you’re the one that holds me together.
The one who makes me smile,
and feel normal.
Oh baby, can’t you see?
What you mean to me?
I’ve never felt this way before
everyone else has left me tore.
So sore,
to life and love,
But you,
You’re the one who’s putting me back together.
As long as you’re beside me,
That’s All I need,
You see?
You’re the one who makes me the person, I need to be.
I love you,
like a fool,
but baby you’re the one…
Who makes me, me.
The only thing I like about me.
The one person I trust completely,
oh baby, can’t you see?
What you mean, to me?

I don't know what to name this.

When the sun goes down at the end of the day,

All I can think about is you.

Your touch, Your smile.

How much I want you to stay.

Sometimes, I’m scared that it’s too much.

But I can’t let you go.

I’ve never felt this way before.

I get lost in your touch.

When you hold me it just feels right.

I long for more,

It’s like I’m meant to be in your arms.

I dream of you every night.

Is it possible, that it’s true love?

Even though we’re so young,

So naïve about life.

Do you think it’s from above?

I don’t know how to explain, but I do.

You’re perfect for me, we’re perfect together.

Never let go, ever.

I love you.

Forever.

Today is the day.

Today is the day.
I don't know what to do.
yeah..

Practice.

I have practice tomorrow.
Well, I have practices tomorrow.
Basketball then softball.
Great...
I'm okay with the softball part.
I just really don't want to go to basketball.
Everyone's expecting me to quit anyways.
I don't want to play, I just have to.
To keep in shape, for softball.
Which also means that I have to go home.
And hear ward gripe about me missing practice Tuesday.


I'm out.

Wow.

So I haven't posted on here in awhile.
I'm still keeping that promise though, and only gonna post every once in awhile.
Considering that I can't really get on right now anyways, no internet at home you know.

But I'm back for a little while.

See yah.

I hate this.

I hate days like this. I really do. It started off great. Now it sucks.
I don't wanna talk about it.

So, I kinda like tumblr

Recently, I've joined tumblr.com. It's not that bad. It's kinda like this. But I can answer questions, post pics, music, and videos also. I mean I can do that on this too, but on there it's simpler. On there I don't feel as known, I guess. If that makes any sense. I'm still going to post on here, because I made a resolution. I have to keep it.

love,
♥Eddie'sBaby♥

sick..

Being home sick, with no cell phone, is boring. Sure, I'm out of school. But I have no one to talk to. Plus, I'm running a high fever and I feel like crap. :( I'm going to try to sleep now, good night.

♥Eddie'sBaby♥

Thank you six billion secrets..

Thank you six billion secrets, even though all your posts are anonymous. I think that's what helps everyone. Because they can tell you their secrets, and not be hurt. They can show their real feelings and not get brought down. You save so many people's lives. I just wanted to tell you thank you. Because you make me feel not as alone in this world..

Thank you,
♥Eddie'sBaby♥

What a day..

Not exactly the best day ever. Started off pretty great. But yeah...

I woke up like earlier than normal, ugh. I hate that. Which explains exactly why I'm tired as we speak. The good news is I made a 102 on a test in Academics. There's the good news of today.

In second hour, well.. I got my normal grades. I sat by my best friend and all in all it was good.

When we went to 3rd hour we wrote an essay over how we felt about the use of chimps in Biomedical research. It was easy. Considering I like writing, and feel strongly about the subject.

Fourth hour, here comes the problem. First of all, as you well know who my best friend is I don't exactly feel the need of explaining him. Anyway, we weren't doing anything in there so we were playing a game on the computer with barbara and josh and of course him. I was leaning on his desk in between him and josh. Eddie walks in and sees me. Tells me I'm too close and to walk away. I didn't. We were playing a game and doing nothing wrong. Well he get's mad about it.

Fifth hour, he texts me and tells me I was all over him, and blah blah blah. I didn't do anything and he gets mad.

When we go to lunch he talks to laticia and starts yelling about me being all over him.

UGH.

Biology was great. We have Mrs. Angela. :) She was really fun and let us listen to music. It was like a concert in there.

You don't have to know about P.E. because well it is the same all the time.


That's why this was an one of those days kinda day..

Snowed in..

Okay, so I've been snowed in for the past week.. Literally. I haven't been able to get out of the house because my yard is a sheet of ice and is too dangerous to get out of the house. We've been out of school this whole week except Monday. I'm not exactly complaining about that. I am complaining about the snow though. Not to mention the fact I am stuck in a house with my family! I haven't even had internet, until now. Thankfully, I do now.

Plus, no one ever freaking talks to me. Honestly. Oh well

Oh yeah,

WE WON AREA!!!
SO...
We are going to state!!!
We were supposed to today.. but guess what?
FREAKING SNOW.
I hate it so much.

Love,
♥Eddie'sBaby♥

Raven's an idiot..

Just so you know, my best friend Raven is an idiot. Why I put this as my title? Because he is. Everyone knows about the new astrological sign, except him. He's just mad cause he isn't a crab anymore, although he's acting like one. Oops that was mean. I'm like one of the only people who has stayed the same. It's awesome.

Today was a good day just so you know.
1) we played on the buzzers.
2) easy prac. test.
3) We read, and did sentence diagramming.
4) finished homework I had, so I didn't have to take it home.
5) talked, talked, and did some more talking.
6) we did EOI prac.
7) circuit. I am now sore. thanks.


Anyways, have you heard about it?
Our A-team is in Area tomorrow. :) If we win or place number 2 we go to state! Heck yeah.
I've been studying hardcore. I'm so ready.

I have to go to bed though, so..

Night & sweet dreams. (remember to check your sign.)
Love,
♥Eddie'sBaby♥

Snow.

I've had an interesting day. :) It snowed, and it's super deep! We had church today, everybody came! Except krystal who never goes cause she has to work. Well, after church we all went to my house to eat. Well of course all the kids wanna play in the snow. Heck I wanted to! It was so much fun. I hit eddie several times and i hit rhonda with snowballs. Eddie tackled me into the snow; I never could get him back. Rhonda made a snow angel with me(mine was better). We tried to make a snowman, but it wouldn't stick well so that exploded literally. Finally, after my face was so cold it burned, we went inside. They had to leave cause they didn't want to get snowed in, so that sucked. Later on, I found out we didn't have school tomorrow. YES! :D So I've been sitting here, re writing poems and typing them and putting them on this for like 3 hours. So have fun and read them! :)


Quote of the day is actually a poem by me:
Snow

Snow, snow
beautiful snow.
How it is made I do not know.

On cars and rooftops,
it's everywhere.
It never stops.

A blanket of white,
with pillows of green.
A beautiful scene.

Snow, snow
beautiful snow.
How it is made, I now know.

Love ya,
♥Eddie'sBaby♥

A True Friend..

A true friend...

We used to be so close,
each others antidote.
Best friends,
until the end.

Or so I thought,
but now we are what?
classmates.
team mates.

All I know,
is that we are so low
You say we're still friends,
and that it'll never end.

But when I talk,
you turn to walk.
You roll your eyes,
and I think it's all lies.

You think your better than me?
How can that be?
If that's the case,
then there's no trace.

We've drifted away,
I hate to say.
Like icebergs or clouds,
it shouldn't have been allowed.

Over the years,
so many tears,
I've missed you.
Have you missed me too?

Where'd you go?
You're not you.
You're hidden.
I don't like how you've been.

Like the world,
you're in a whirl.
Popular,
too far.

Am I like an old toy then?
Thrown away and never used again.
Trash.
A rash.

That's what I am to you,
what'd I do?
Do you really care?
Is that to hard to bear?

I will wait,
for you this late.
I will wait for you to come around,
and realize it's safe and sound.

Because I am your friend,
until the end.
Not like those liars,
that say they are.

Soon they'll dump you like trash,
hit you with a bash.
What goes around comes around,
it keeps you bound.

I'll be waiting,
wondering if it's time I'm wasting.
I'm the same me,
I used to be.

Are we still
best friends
until
The End?

Diamonte..

These are some diamonte poems we had to write for English.. Enjoy.


Rudolph
Red-nosed, reindeer
flying, glowing, leading
saves the day, leads the way
dancing, singing, melting
cheerful, snowman
Frosty

Angels
sweet, pretty
loving, caring, giving
halo, wings, horns, tails
cheating, lying, stealing
Sour, ugly
Demons

Jack
Cheerful, skeleton
loving, scaring, daring
Gives kids toys, saves the day
living, caring, giving
Jolly, Saint
Santa

The Truth..

The truth...


When I got it,
I began to melt.
When I finished,
no one knew how I felt.

My hands began to shake,
I went numb.
I couldn't feel.
I was in my own private quake.

I held back tears,
when they began to fall,
it was a flood.
Oh God the fears.

They came true,
too much pain,
too much sorrow,
It was all cause of you.

I wouldn't talk.
Silent.
Mute.
I could barely walk.

I must not have meant much,
you wouldn't even face me.
To tell me,
after 7 long months.

That we were through.
I wasn't worth the truth.
You left me for her,
that hurts too.

You planned it for a week.
That kills me,
that hurts.
You left me weak.

I guess I was a retard,
because I couldn't face it.
But it's the truth,
and I was caught off guard.

Now you'll know..

Now you'll know

I didn't get to see your face,
One last time,
when you broke me.
I needed to brace.

I don't know what hurts more,
You couldn't face me after 7 months,
or that you were planning it for a week?
Just to leave me tore.

Did you ever really love me?
Do you still?
Either way you're not getting back in,
we're not meant to be.

If you told me today,
that you still cared,
that you lied,
you know what I'd say?

It wouldn't be real,
cause when you end up like me,
because of her.
Then you'll know how you made me feel.

Not like that..

Not like that...

You want me back you say,
I look away.
You love me still, you never stopped.
My head feels as if it's been bopped.
You miss me, you promise you won't lie.

I don't want you back, I can't trust you.
You look like you don't know what to do.
I still love you too, but not like that.
You look as if I hit you with a bat.
I've missed you too, I just want my friend.
You say.. So in the end..

You don't still love me, like you used to?
I don't.
You just missed me, as a friend.
Yepp.
You don't want me back?
I do but not like that.

My heart is with you..

My heart is with you

Why?
Why did you do that to me?
You broke my heart with a text.
Not even to my face.
Not after you made my heart race.
A rude way to do that.
My heart will never be the same.
I trusted you.
And what'd you do?
With all my heart,
you tore it apart!
Too bad it's with you,
it followed you.
I thought you loved me,
what happened there?
That you decided I could take this tear.
I thought you were different.
I thought you weren't like other guys.
I LOVED YOU.
Unfortunately I still do.
I knew I should've been afraid of losing you.
Now look!
I'm all alone.
I lost my best friend,
till the end.
One of the only people
I could talk to.
When I didn't know what to do.
I've cried and cried.
Slowly died.
I've cried myself to sleep.
All I could do was weap.
All for you!
I think I'm out of tears.
Can't sleep because of fears.
I haven't laughed or made a joke.
I've wanted to croak.
Everyone tries to help.
I laugh in sad attempt.
But it doesn't work.
I just want you to know,
If you ever decide your feelings want to show.
I still love you.
I may not trust you.
But maybe just maybe you'll get it back.
and we'll be back on track.
I don't know yet,
if my heart will let.
Was it something I did?
I want to know.
Will it show?
Do I still cross your mind?
Or am I not there?
How about your heart?
Am I still a part?
Do you even care that you hurt me?
Do you care that I miss you,
that I love you?
I thought I was your baby?
I thought you wouldn't hurt me?
You lied.
You defied.
I believed it.
Even with all my wit.
Stupid, stupid girl.
like always.
All my days.
I hope you're happy.
I hope you can never forget me.
Cause you're gone.
and I'm done.

PS:
Take care of my heart.
Its with you,
ever since you tore it apart.
Btw: it still loves you.

I used to care..

Another old poem.. By the way didn't know if anyone knew this or not but my poems are copyrighted and will soon have a logo. However, they do not right now and are not free to take.
Also, some of my poems were written for other people who needed a way to tell a person how they feel. Not all of them are personal. Even though I may have put that I was depressed it was most likely not written for me. What if and trapped are good examples of my reasoning..

again,
Thanks.
♥ Eddie's Baby♥

I used to care

I see you there,
across the hall,
unlike before,
I don't care.

I don't freak out,
when you look my way
I'm fine,
I don't want to shout.

Like I used to,
My heart doesn't care,
my eyes don't sparkle,
when they see you.

When you speak,
I don't get anxious,
like I used to be,
I am not weak.

We just say hey,
talk awhile,
then down the hall,
we make our way.

Old poems that were edited..

Fall

Fall
That's what my heart says.
It says you're worth it,
worth it all.

You won't lie,
or cheat,
it's all okay,
Cause you'll catch me.

I've been hurt,
recently,
I don't want to be again.
I'm going to be alert.

I don't want to lose a friend,
like last time,
and the time before that.
It never works out in the end.

I don't know what to do,
my heart says do it,
friends,
family too.

Should I?
I don't know.
Can I?
I don't want to die.

Am I strong enough for it?
Healed enough?
Will it make it worse?
I need to use my wit.

Is it meant to be?
DO you even know,
how much I care?
Will you catch me?

I want to fall,
but I don't know.
I'm scared.
Not knowing if I want to risk it all.

I'm going to,
Here I go,
I want you to know,
that I love you.


Falling..

falling..


I don't know why..

You look through me, like I'm not here.
Like you're looking into a mirror.

I'm invisible, like a ghost.
And yet I'm the one who loves you most.

I'd do anything for you, no matter the cost.
But to you, I'm lost.

I watch quietly through my eyes,
after each day they both cry.

You said you used to care,
but I'm starting to think that's just hot air.

Stupid me believed your lies,
now each day my heart dies.

Why is it?
We just don't seem fit.

Different people from different places,
all I see are traces.

You're part of the popular crowd,
all crazy and loud.

I still love you,
no matter how much I don't want to.

I have someone who loves me,
but I reach for you like you're my only need.

He's sweet and actually cares,
two very different pairs.

You're a jerk who lies,
everything my heart defies.

My world isn't so bad,
but something always makes me mad.

I stand there watching quietly,
listening oh so silently.

My mind says move on,
easier said than done.
You walk up quietly,
whisper silently.
"I need to talk to you"
"I need to talk to you too"
I reply.
Oh D***, why can't I lie?

Two older poems..

These are some older poems.. I was a little depressed..

What If

What if I had done that not that?
What if my stomach wasn't as fat?
What if I had picked him over him?
What if I had thought about all those things I'd done on a whim?
What if I was there?
What if life really was fair?
What if he was the one?
What if he hadn't of said we were done?
What if he lied?
What if she died?
What if life had ended right then and there?
What if it had been too hard to bare?
What if I weren't scared?
What if they actually cared?
When it all comes down to it,
life if full of it.
What if?

TRAPPED

Trapped, no way out.
Confused, without a doubt.
Scared to death.
Heart was taken by theft.
Everything's falling on me like boulders.
The weight of the world on my shoulders.
Pissed off.
Hidden inside like a scoff.
Nobody can see,
the real me.
They see the coverup.
The girl who looks tough.
But on the inside is crying,
while she is slowly dying.
They see the girl who laughs,
not knowing that's a craft.
Knowing there's always a tomorrow,
I try to get rid of sorrow.
Only words and poetic ways,
helps me see better days.
Nobody asks if I'm okay,
I'd lie anyway.
It's like i'm trapped in a mirror,
no matter what they can't see me clearer.
I hate this S***.
All of it.
All i want to do is get out,
but I have doubt.
Maybe, I can adapt..
but for now I'm trapped.

Finding a job..

I'm trying to find a job. I already have one lined out, it's good to go. I want another one though. One for now. I can't find any.. Sure I'm a little picky. I don't want to work in food, YUCK. That's it. Anything but fast food and I'm good to go, as long as I'm not working on Weds, or so close after school I can't go to practice. That's why I'm working in the summer, I don't really have to worry about that until the end, but by then my job will be over mostly. I'm starting to sense what people mean. Life IS hard. No matter how much of it you have planned out. I'm glad that I have the majority of it planned out. I know what I want to be, where I really want to go for college, I have a savings account that I'm putting money in for a house, I already have a car, and I get good grades.

I'm buying a house as soon as I can, honestly, I don't want to be like my sister who's 26, lives at home, never finished college, and still asks mom for money. I want to be myself by then. I want to be on my own doing something that I love with someone I love. I like my independence I guess you could say.

FYI: I'm going to start putting a quote of the day. I love quotes, and honestly quotes can help you a lot. I may repeat them, only if the quote ties into my day and another.

So...
Quote of the day: "Life IS hard, no matter how much thought goes into it." - Anon.

I'm out,
♥ Eddie'sBaby ♥

Two new poems..

I wrote these before Christmas break. I left my only copies at school, oops. :) Anyways here they are for your reading:

Cry, Cry.

Cry, Cry.
Let out all your tears,
your cold hard fears.
Cry, Cry.
It makes you stronger
not holding out any longer.
Cry, Cry.
Let out all your pain,
bring on the rain.
One boy/girl,
caught in a whirl.
Let it out.
Don't just pout.
Let it out!
Cry, Cry.


Similar Opposites
Never, Forever.
Two different words,
but brings us together.
Death, Life.
Proof of being,
all the strife.
Beginning, End.
Life is a story,
only we can mend.
Words so different,
but go hand in hand.
Opposites, antonyms.
Similar, Synonyms.

Just another day..

Today unfortunately wasn't as great as the first or yesterday.

First: Not that bad. I took a quiz I didn't really know that much about, and yet, I only missed a few. Then we played a practice game. My side lost.. bad. Not even honorably.

Second: Wasn't all that bad, again. I made a 100 (IN MATH!!) which isn't that normal. At all considering my first grade was a 62. I finished early, and today's assignment was easy. So at least that was good.

Third: Same thing. Not bad, and easy. I finished early.

Fourth: We did worksheets that were super easy. I know it sounds like my day is good so far, and that was because it was.

Fifth: Trouble started brewing. It was boring, like always, and people were constantly getting yelled at. And I got in trouble for moving my chair when I didn't move it.

Sixth: Eddie left to go to the Doctor. We wrote notes, so he didn't miss much. Luckily, there was no homework here either.

Last hour: We worked hard. Worked out the legs today. Mine are so sore now. Can't wait until tomorrow when it's even worse.


Now why it's so bad..
Eddie has a cast again. Great. Which means I'll have to write for him until it comes off. I'm okay with that, but still.

I have a super headache, and I don't know how to calm it.

I can't find a good music downloader since limewire was destroyed.

So I'm out,

♥ Eddie'sBaby♥

First Day Back

Today was the first day back to school, oh boy. I thought it was going to be awful. Considering most days at school are. (If you knew my class you'd know why I say that) But today wasn't so bad.

First Hour: We studied for a quiz tomorrow, this is our academics class we study all the time. It's actually fun. Mostly because I am actually friends with the people in there. I don't feel so left out there.

Second Hour: Geometry, which isn't so bad other than it's Math. I don't exactly like math nor am I good at math. Preferably I wouldn't take it if I didn't have to, but unfortunately it's a core class. Luckily, we had an easy grade and people didn't talk THAT much.

Third Hour: English Two. Now here's a class that I can do, and I like taking it. It doesn't bother me. Too bad for the ones who are actually trying to learn or doing their homework, cause this is where it starts getting ugly. By this time we're all mad cause we only get 10 minutes to eat, and we probably have homework. Me? I'm fine with it. i don't really care. But THEY do, and it gets on everyone's nerves. Good thing that all our homework was was a worksheet that was due in class. And even though it was super easy, they still needed help. I know everyone learns at their own pace, but is it so hard to copy out of the book?

Fourth Hour: Personal Finance. This class is really easy. Considering that all we do is sit around and talk. Not that much to do.

Fifth: Oh Boy. Mrs. Long's. She's okay, I personally like her. My class doesn't. She yells all the time and if you even whisper, well you're getting yelled at. All we do in there is take notes most of the time, and then we do a worksheet. It's okay, I guess. If she'd give us a little more freedom, let us watch a little more movies, and it wasn't the longest class of the day.

Sixth Hour: Biology. Not that bad. We just always have a lot of homework. Mrs. Lewis is nice, and a really good teacher. I've learned a lot from her. She's a little weird, but honestly do you think that I care about that? So overall, it's an okay class.

Seventh: P.E. :) Best class of the day. Right now, because I am not playing basketball I do insanity. I know it sounds tough, but it's not really. Probably will be because of break but oh well. I'll live. I need to work out anyways. haha. After basketball season it'll be softball. Heck yeah. The one sport actually worth my time, and trying as hard as I can. It's really the only way I'm gonna try at school, and besides I'm good. It's my life, and honestly it's a GREAT way to end my day. :)

After school we went to town. It was okay, a little boring, but nothing better to do. So I am happy. :)

Later,

♥ Eddie'sBaby ♥

Why today will be just as good..

Today will be just as good as yesterday because...

1) I'll be going to cameron and connor's.

2) Eddie's going too.

3) We're going to beat them at baseball and basketball.

4) We're going to play the Playstation 3.

5) It's just gonna be fun. :)

I have to go they're here.

Later,
♥ Eddie'sBaby♥

Masks.

Just a poem about how people now are hiding behind a personality to be cool or to not show you who they really are.. :)

I look around all I see:
Are kids behind a mask.
Masks hiding them.
But from what?
The world?
Maybe.
Themselves?
There are copies.
THere are druggies.
There are drinkers.
But for what?
There are smokers.
Abusers.
Bullies.
But why?
Why can't they be themselves?
Why do they have to be like their "friends"?
Why can't they just say "No."?
I can see beneath their masks.
What they hide.
Hurt.
Misery.
Pain.
Sorrow.
Lies.
Themselves.

Will You Catch Me?

Just another old poem about a crush..

I don't know why I'm here.
Why I'm falling.
It's just so confusing.

Wait! What are you doing?
You're not going to catch me?
Oh crap.


Pull me back up!
Please.
Don't let me break.

Oh no.
It's too late.
I'm broken.

Who are you?
You kind person.
My friend?

You won't hurt me?
You won't let me fall?
You'll catch me every time?

I feel like I can trust you.
But I just don't know.
Should I?

I'm healing.
The bandaid is going away.
And all because of you.

I'm here again.
Where I didn't want to be.
What am I doing?

Have I gone insane?
I'm here again!
I'm falling.

Farther and farther.
I get closer and closer.
Falling, falling.

Will I break?
Are you going to drop me?
Most of all, Are you going to catch me?

Just some poems. :)

These are some more of my poetry. Some happy some sad. It happens.



The Pain was written in a class one time. We were talking about drugs and how they can kill you. I just happened to think about it and I wrote a poem.. Enjoy. :)

The Pain
______________
My body, it aches.
My head, it hurts.
Oh god, ease the pain.
Stop it!
Kill it!
Please!
I can't think straight.
I can't see now.
Everything is black.
The world is spinning.
And I know there's no going back...

Now you'll Know was kinda my Karma poem written to an ex who cheated on me. Karma is a B**** my friend. :)

Now You'll Know
_______________

I didn't even get to see your face.
One last time.
When you did it.
When you broke my heart.

I don't know what hurts more...
The fact that you couldn't face me
after 7 long months!
Or the fact u were planning on it for weeks.

Did you ever really love me?
Or do you still?
Either way I'm not letting u back in.
And I never will.

If you told me today,
that you still cared.
I would say whatever.
You left me for HER. Remember?

And when she does,
the same thing to you.
I'm gonna feel sorry
cause know you'll know how I feel.

Nobody is my way of telling those who think they are all that they aren't, and that Karma will get them and they'll become the Nobody. :)

Nobody
______________

In your eyes I'm a nobody.
You don't care if I hurt.
You don't care if I'm lost.
You wouldn't help.
Even after all I do for you.

In your eyes I'm weird.
You don't care that's me.
You don't care that I'm creative.
You won't even see.
That underneath it all I'm still me.

In your eyes I'm crazy.
You don't care I have A.D.D.
You don't care I'm impatient.
You just say stuff about me.
Like I'm not even there.

In your eyes I'm just a No One.
You don't care I'm shy.
You don't care I have feelings too.
You just turn away.
And act like it was just the wind.

In MY eyes I'm a Somebody.
I might be a nobody to you.
I might be a nobody to the world.
But when this nobody becomes a somebody.
You'll be rushing to my door,
and You know what I'll say?
"I'm sorry, do I know you?"

This is a poem about being broken up with.. again. Most of mine are about that. It's just my way of catching them in the act of not actually loving. :)

So That's How It Is...
_________________

I thought you loved me.
I thought you cared.
I thought your words were sincere.
If what you said is true.
I guess we're finally through.

You don't love me anymore.
Did you get bored?
I didn't excite you; Is that it?
I loved you, you know?
I still do though.

I should hate you so much.
But the tears gush.
I should want to kill you.
But I don't; You know why?
Cause you're all I think about at night.

I don't even understand it.
I don't know why.
But that's how it is in my life.
I shouldn't care.
But there goes a tear.

I want to be happy.
Not sad or mad.
I want to be me again.
With or without you, I guess.
So let me put it to the test.

Butterflies is just a random poem I wrote. :)

Butterflies!
______________

A butterfly is like a kid.
THey are raised in a small cacoon.
This is where they learn and grow.
But one day as they get older.
They find they wanna leave,
their protection and home.
And their parents learn
they have to let them go
and spread their wings and fly.

This is a free verse poem about me. :)

Me.
________________

Me.
That's who I am.
Me.
No one else.
Me.
Crazy yet civilized.
Me.
Mature yet immature.
Me.
Good Girl.
Me.
Teacher's pet.
Me.
Athletic.
Me.
Smart.
Me.
Loving and caring.
Me.
Trusting and loyal.
Me.
Cute.
Me.
Compassionate.
Me.
Happy.
Me.
Single.
Me.
Just plain ol' me.
Me.

September 11 was written about obviously September 11th. The day the world stopped turning. I wrote it in a single class period. Hope you like it. :)

September 11
_____________
The day was filled with sorrow
For some there would be no tomorrow
That dreadful day
Why couldn’t we say
Leave us alone
In a brave tone

The planes hit the towers
At their graves we leave flowers
The towers started to burn
And their heads started to turn
Then they fell
This would be a story to tell

Then as the sun went down
So did the towers in this town
No one could sleep
All they could do was weep
Those brave men who gave their life
The lost their kids and their wife

The day was September 11th
It was a normal day on the 10th
Everything was fine
Everyone was fine
The next day
I’m sorry to say

Was not fine
Nothing was fine
Even though it happened in New York City
It affected everyone’s city
Do you remember this day
I think everyone should remember this day

Do not forget
The day the fire lit
The skies with so much emotion
That kept us in motion
That day is unforgettable
Now remember that as you sit at your table

While you are safe at home
Someone didn’t make it to their home
Because of the evil men
Who took the lives of innocent men and women
I will not forget
WILL YOU??????


Fall was written about me crushing on my best friend(Raven). But I didn't know whether or not to trust him, because I had so recently been broken up with. I eventually did and was hurt.. But that's life. :)

Fall
____________

FALL.
FALL.
That's all my heart is saying.
It says your worth it.
You won't lie.
Or cheat.
That you'll catch me.
I've been hurt.
So recently.
I don't want to be again.
I don't want to lose a friend.
Like I did last time.
But what to do.
My heart isn't the only one saying it.
My friends.
Family.
Heck, even ppl I don't know.
But I still don't know.
Should I?
Can I?
I don't know.
Am I strong enough?
Have I healed well enough?
Or will it just make it worse?

I lost myself- because of you.

I lost myself-because of you was written when again I was broken up with. It's about how i forgot who I was because of him, because I was with him all the time. I didn't hang out with hardly anyone else.


I was just a joke to you.
Something when u were done u threw.
And her! Just fluttering her lash.
U were just waiting for me to crash!
You didn't want me anymore.
So my heart was tore.
For days I couldn't speak,
I was far too weak.
My knees buckled,
"Friends" chuckled.
I gave up, you know?
My feelings for you ceased to show.
I smiled and laughed.
But that was just part of the craft.
I danced and jumped.
Screamed until my throat was lumped.
Inside I used to be crying.
Everytime I saw you with her, my heart was slowly dying.
I wanted to hate you and love you too.
I ddidn't know how it could be true.
I knew it was wrong.
But I was with you for so long.
I forgot one of the most important things to be.
I forgot how to be just me.

Don't Trust Him

Don't trust him was another poem written right after I was broken up with. I was hurt and I couldn't control it. But I was right, you can trust him but you can't.

Don't trust him with all your heart.
He was planning on breaking it from the start.
He's just using you to get her.
Using you like a fishing lure.
And he's hoping she'll bite
so he can bid u good night.
He knows he isn't wanted
unless you are flaunted.
She doesn't love him, he's a fool.
You, I'm sorry to say is just his tool.
She doesn't want him,
if she can have him on a whim.
She'll

flirt while you are going out.
When ya'll break up she'll block him out.
Ignore him. Act like he's not even there.
He'll chase her with all that he can fare.
But she won't bother with the guy.
So he'll find another girl to whom he can lie.
She'll fall in love and he won't care.
Cause she's just another heart he'll tear.

Over You

This is an old poem again.. talking about an ex. (buckie.) It's when I finally knew i was over him :)


Over You--

She can't believe you were the one
who said that you were done.
The one who broke her heart.
She should've known it from the start.
All your promises were a lie.
They made her want to slowly die.
Her eyes just cried and cried.
'til the tears were dried.

She was broken by you.
Her heart ripped in two.
But over time she began to smile.
It only took a little while.
You couldn't believe it, how fast it took.
That was her plan, to leave you shook.
The pain she couldn't bare.
All caused by your tear.

Then she saw you across the room.
Her eyes saw the doom.
A girl there beside you.
Now calling you her new beau.
A friend non the less.
O God, what a mess.
Her smile slowly faded away,
as she watched yours stay.
She wondered if yours was there that night.
As she thought it might.
A few hours before you said "I love you."
She's guessing you didn't mean that too.

People asked her why.
She couldn't lie.
She honestly didn't know.
But you did though.
She told them to ask you;
why you were through.
They wouldn't leave her alone.
No matter how many times she used that tone.
They kept bugging her about it.
They threw a big fit.
She just wanted to scream at them.
I don't know, ASK HIM!
She couldn't get the point across.
That it was your loss.

Inside she was dying.
But her outside was lying.
She looked like she was fine.
But even that was walking a thin line.
She felt all that pain and sorrow,
but she knew there would be a tomorrow.

She was happy for you, whether you know it or not.
At least you could move on, she missed you a lot.
Even after all of that.
She couldn't face the fact.
She convinced herself she was over you.
She hung out with her own crew.
She smiled and laughed.

But all of that was just a craft.
She danced and screamed.
Her face started to beam it seemed.
She seemed to be her old self.
That was love itself.
And that was when she finally knew,
that she had gotten over you.

Four OLD poems..

These are old poems.. They were written when I was in a depressed state. I'll put a brief explanation before each one.





Why is it so hard was written when my ex (buckie) broke up with me. I was depressed and thought that I would never get over him, but I did. I'm happy with Eddie. I love him. :)

Why is it so hard?
_________________
She thought she was over you.
That was something she thought she knew.

But now she's not so sure.
She thinks of you, she don't know what for.

You broke her heart.
You tore her apart.

She thought she was her again.
But that was then.

She don't know anymore.
She thought she closed that door.

Why are you inside her mind?
Why do u make her feel that inside?

Everytime she sees you, her heart skips a beat.
But to admit that is to admit defeat.

Even though she wants to yell.
There's another story her heart wants to tell.

She wants to forget u so much.
But she knows in her heart she misses ur touch.

She misses talking to u.
And everything else u used to do.

But most of the time,
She misses her friend, is that such a crime?

She doesn't know what to think,
about why she misses that link.

She doesn't wanna miss u.
But she doesn't wanna lose u too.

She was torn in two.
All cause by you.

She can't get u out of her mind.
She can't stop the feeling inside.

She really wants to get over u.
But it's so hard to do.

Just Friends was written about my best friend and ex (raven) It used to hurt me so much when someone would ask if we were dating, but we knew the truth we're Just friends. Always will be. I love my bestie, but not like that anymore. :)

Just Friends
________________
Just friends, that phrase kills me.
And my heart just won't hear the cree.

It wants to be more.
But it doesn't want to be tore.

Everytime it sees you, it cries.
Longing for you, it never dies.

You're what keeps it together.
You've kept it as light as a feather.

After it was broken in two.
It was mended, all by you.

You're it's bandaid.
It's healer, it's

maid.

It loves you so much.
It loves everytime we touch.

You're the only person it wants to talk to.
But that's something I won't let it do.

I've learned not to ever let it do that.
So it don't fly away like a bat.

It wants to trust you, and fall.
But is it worth it all?

Best friends for so long.
In my heart you'll always belong.

But we're just friends, for now.
And I don't know how,
to convince it of that,
But doing so would make it's beating flat.

Mirror, Mirror was another poem written in my dark days. I was depressed and didn't like how i looked in the mirror to myself. I didn't seem like me.

Mirror, Mirror
______________
If u look in a mirror.
You see that familiar stranger,
so u go nearer and nearer.
Now u see yourself clearer.

What you've seen is what u feared.
The person whose gone way off track.
Their eyes are teared.
Their face not cleared.

Dark circles under their eyes from stress.
Their mouth quivers.
Hair is a mess,
from all the lies they've yet to confess.

Now the mirror is shattered.
Your hands now bleed.
Arms battered.
Parts ot it now scattered.

Mirror, mirror in the floor,
who tells lies more and more?


Innocent was written after an ex broke up with me.(buckie) I didn't know why I hung on so long to him, when it was so obvious he didn't love me.

Innocent
_____________
I'm sitting here in the deepest corner of my mind,
longing for something I'll never find.
The reason why,
You left me to die.
I wass so innocent, I couldn't have known.
That I could've flown.

The Past

i wish we could forget the past, act like it never happened, and wipe it away so that it doesn't affect today.

*Young Love*

Young Love

A girl around fifteen,

her eyes filled with tears,

wonders how life can be so mean,

just like her peers.

Her hearts been broken so many times,

she’s been told so many lies,

it should be considered a crime,

how much they make her cry.

But he changed all that,

when he asked her out,

she didn’t want to fall flat,

but she had her doubts.

After weeks with him,

she’s having a blast,

all the kisses on a whim,

she’s thinking just maybe they might last.

she’s beginning to fall,

she wonders if he is too,

She wants to be his all,

he breaks her train of thought.. with a simple I love you.

After months go by,

she finds herself happier each day,

Nothing has made her cry,

until she heard him say…

baby, I love you,

as he gets down on one knee,

I hope you say I do,

will you marry me?

I can live with this kinda day..

Believe it or not, today was a good day. :) Eddie came over, of course, it's Sunday he's here every Sunday.But it was a really good day, not just cause of that. At church today you could just feel the presence of the lord over you, it was amazing. No one spoke. It was just amazing.

Another thing is that my family came over(I'm including Eddie in that) all of them were here except my brother and sister-in-law. I have a feeling that has to do with her brother passing away. But it was nice all the same. We had a nice family lunch in the kitchen. Then we all went outside for a bit and played catch. It was nice.

After catch Eddie and I decided to take a nap. Could be because neither of us had any sleep cause we stayed up all night on the phone. But that's not the point. It was perfect. It just felt right to be in his arms, cuddled up that close, just couldn't have been any better.

We had fun afterwards too. Jacen, Andrew, and "PooPoo" stayed with us. We all wrestled in the floor, it was great. :)

It was an amazing day, and I'm so glad that my year is getting better! I know it's only the second day, but really you'd think that too if yours started like mine.

Tomorrow I am going to my Aunt's to play with my cousins. Eddie is coming too. I hope it'll be just as good. :) I know it'll be fun at least. Not that anyone really wants to hear this probably. Oh well. :)

See you,

♥ Eddie'sBaby♥